Well, the house across the street is finally being rented out.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
05/22/2016 at 16:51 • Filed to: Neighbors

First applicants were a young couple — 17 and 20 years old — with a two year old son, and a rather loud pitbull puppy. The guy has 6 months of work history. Total.

It’s always an adventure when that property gets rented out. Last time they rented to a totally normal guy — who ended up letting his homeless meth-smoking friend live in a van on the street — who then lit the house on fire with a cigarette.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

DISCUSSION (45)

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 16:58

Just build a nice fence.

deprecated account > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 16:58

Damn, dude. At least people don't get shot over possessed weaves in Seattle.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
05/22/2016 at 16:58

I can’t afford that, what with my intense Celica maintenence bills and whatnot

Honeybunchesofgoats > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:00

In this case, “nice” means cinder blocks stacked 7' high.

TheHondaBro > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/22/2016 at 17:02

Rebar and steel.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/22/2016 at 17:02

Good moats make good neighbors

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:03

You could make the fence out of Celica parts cars.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
05/22/2016 at 17:03

Even better — I still have all my Tercel parts. I’d be crazy NOT to use them

TheHondaBro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:04

Build a wall between your neighbors and the Celikingdom.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > TheHondaBro
05/22/2016 at 17:04

But who will build this wall

and who will pay for it

Blunion05 drives a pink S2000 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:05

Teenage pregnancy is a helluva ting

My bird IS the word > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:05

Just threaten any potential degenerate renters away with a gun. Acting/being insane is always the solution!

Honeybunchesofgoats > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:06

See, this is a case where you just say “I married my high school sweetheart” and leave it at that without going into any further detail.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:06

Your obviously poor neighbors, of course. That’s how it works, right? It’s gonna be yyyyuuuuuuugggggeeee.

TheHondaBro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:08

Worf.

Starfleet.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > My bird IS the word
05/22/2016 at 17:09

Having an unoccupied house in your neighborhood poses its own issues though. Unless I threaten ALL my neighbors with a firearm, then I guess I could live in solitude.

scoob > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:12

17 and 20 years old — with a two year old son

Damn kids these days...

/Is19YearsOld

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/22/2016 at 17:12

Hey they’re just trying to live the dream. They’re just a little... ahead... of the typical pace. And ahead of themselves. They have also never lived together — because they both still live with their own parents of course

Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:16

I have a particular set of skills:

Kinja'd!!!

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:19

Exactly. Just put old Toyota parts all over your lawn and they'll know you're not one to be messed with.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
05/22/2016 at 17:20

NOT MAH LAWN!

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:22

Then in the street? Maybe?

BigBlock440 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:30

Is the guy the 17 or the 20? 6 months of work history isn’t terrible for 17, and it’s not even that bad for 20 if they waited until they graduated to get a job then couldn’t find one for a year.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:30

The Hondas.

That's gonna leave a mark! > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:33

Landlord must be clueless about how to renters.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:39

Way to pre-judge people. Circumstances don't define people, just like the breed doesn't define a dogs nature.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
05/22/2016 at 17:43

You need to relax. If you read the rest of the post you’ll see that the last time they got the “right” tenant it was actually a disaster, indicating that nothing really matters once anyone moves in. The puppy happens to be a pitbull. Just like mine is a mutt, or my neighbors is a St. Bernard. It’s a statement not an indictment on a dog.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > That's gonna leave a mark!
05/22/2016 at 17:48

This is a fringe low income area... You work with what you got you know?

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:49

I am relaxed. So your first paragraph isn’t a derogatory statement of the couple’s circumstances? Genuine question, not being arsey.

My bird IS the word > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 17:58

Booby trap the abandoned houses

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
05/22/2016 at 17:58

Has only worked for six months... Has a 2 year old... 18 year old possibly with a 15 year old... There is a solid chance they are great at making consistent bad decisions.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
05/22/2016 at 18:01

And yet they're still together and looking for a house to rent. Good for them.

Funktheduck > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 18:13

I’m moving this week. Afraid I’m gonna have crappy neighbors.

Like, the guy across the street has this weird old Toyota fetish. I'm pretty sure he dragons the Celica

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Funktheduck
05/22/2016 at 18:16

But at least he parks on his side and turns down Jimmy Eat World after 9pm.

Funktheduck > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 18:18

In all honesty, I really do move this week. I haven't met any neighbors. I like my current neighbors. If only I could transplant them with me

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Funktheduck
05/22/2016 at 18:19

Can’t have it all. I’m sure I wasn’t popular when I had six cars outside my last place (all correctly parked, mind you).

E92M3 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 18:25

“You got a job?”

APPROVED!

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
05/22/2016 at 19:07

That’s statutory rape in there...

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
05/22/2016 at 19:08

Correct.

Katsumoto > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 20:05

Just be glad you don’t have my neighbors who think everyone on the street is racist because they are black.

Ask them to turn down their music, first response is “It’s because I’m black”. Ask them to pick up their dog’s giant landmines in my yard, same response.

They won’t live there long, the landlord already has complaints from everyone on the street. I live in an area with middle lower class and some middle upper class people. My neighbor’s rental house happens to be the only rental in the neighborhood.

It’s nothing against their race, they just let their giant horse of a dog shit in everyone’s yard and don’t care about it. My dog shits in someone’s yard, I at least have the decency to pick it up and throw it in a trash can.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Katsumoto
05/22/2016 at 21:57

That sounds tremendously frustrating. What a crutch that is for them to invoke.

Katsumoto > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 22:12

Yea, they do that card for anything.

I told them the other day when they played that card, no it’s not because you are black, it’s because you are the fucking worst neighbors anyone could ever have. Maybe if you stopped your bullshit, you’d be treated with respect.

I’d move but I own my home. I renovated last fall and love my house and the neighbors, just not them.

Kinja'd!!!

My house has the star, they have the light gray roof, and the next house up is the one guy who’s moving out soon. (also it appears google took this picture on a holiday too, because normally not that many people are at my house)

The man installs car audio, so they bump music all day. The girl does nothing. So trunk rattling, loud music and a giant dog that shits watermelon sized piles in my front yard. Then they wonder why no one on the street likes them. Even if they were white, the street would hate them.

Textured Soy Protein > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/22/2016 at 22:53

My now-former next door neighbor in my townhouse is a fun guy who owns a dj company and always had a ready supply of weed, was kinda annoying because he’d be up at random late-ass hours of the night bumping music or movies or video games not realizing that the noise was coming through our shared wall. Also, he liked to vacuum at 3 am.

One time I knocked on his door at 1 am asking if he minded turning down the volume on his subwoofer, he was all high and said “oh yeah no proooobbbblleeemmm mannnnn” and I thought that’d be the end of it, but that was the one and only time he actually turned it down. I suppose he forgot about it the next day.

Now he moved to Puerto Rico and runs his Wisconsin-based dj company from there. We may or may not have full-time neighbors yet, a couple who I think knows the dj guy have been acting like they’re moving in. So far it’s much quieter.

We tried to have the dude dj our upcoming wedding, in spite of the noise. Looks like schedule might not work out but we may still use someone else from his company.

Dru > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
05/23/2016 at 08:58

Oof. Sounds like a mess. I guess I’m fortunate that I live in a vacation town, so of the 5 homes that directly "border" mine, only 2 are full time occupied. Though my neighbor across the street takes piss poor care of his lawn (non occupant), so I find myself trimming weeds that sprout up through the driveway just so I don't have to see them.

DynamicWeight > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
05/23/2016 at 12:57

All 15 and 18 year olds make bad decisions, some of us just get luckier with the outcomes than others.